I'm Sorry
by Shion-san
Summary: For Lethal-chan's birthday, and it is VERY late. HieiKurama slash, mild. Uncomfortable but loving, the world will force out the truth with time, in it's own way. Hiei might watch from afar, but all lies shatter with love.


Shion.October.2004 

#for Alycia.Lethal-chan's 16th Birthday#

Disclaimer. All Yu Yu Hakusho characters are not Shion's. She claims no ownership and gets no benefit. Please do not use her (Shion's) original lyrics without permission.

Where in hell

do you sell

your strange drug

and why do you sell it to me for free

is it love or generosity

what's your infatuation with me

got to do with anything

It was dark, the moon covered by the clouds, rain pouring down. In a tall tree in a ningen park, a demon sat. He crossed his legs, his eyes closed as the leaves tapped water onto every already wet inch of him. He wore black pants that had white bandages that connected to his boots. He had a large dress-like shirt, which could easily come off to reveal a black tank top. His tall hair was soaked, draping over his white bandana and closed eyes. He snored lightly, his dreams not taking him far from his tree.

The red head fox in his mind was looking sad. He sat in the living room of his ningen mother's house, homework from his school finished on the table, his green eyes looking longingly out the gray, wet window.

"Shuichi?" His mother walked into the room, flicking on the light. "It's after midnight, aren't you going to sleep?"

"Sorry Okasan. I just couldn't sleep." The red head smiled, standing up.

"Okay... but you should try to get to sleep pretty soon." His mother smiled, wearing a blue night robe. She walked back to her bedroom, leaving the redhead once again alone. He sighed, flopping to his side and closing his green eyes.

Red eyes opened, the demon gasping and inhaling rain water. He choked, slowly regaining his composure. He held his chest, looking around. It was the next day when he was supposed to meet the fox, but he had nothing to do until then but wait in the designated area.

Morning came, and the rain still poured. The red head boy walked into school, changing his shoes and drying out his umbrella, putting his raincoat in a plastic bag before putting it in the bottom of his locker. He walked to his classroom, girl giggling around him. The rain poured all day, and for once when the bell rang the red head left with the other students. His excuse for leaving so soon was he had plans with his mother, who was actually working late. He opened his black umbrella, wearing a green raincoat, his red side locks hanging from the hole of his hood. He walked to the park, looking up into the trees.

The black clad demon sat in the tree still, awake and looking to be catching something of a cold.

"Hello Hiei. Have you been waiting long?" The red head asked.

"No." Hiei lied, not moving from his spot, but looking to the fox.

"That's good. Would you like to go to dinner, or should I just make something?" The fox inquired.

"Hn, what do you think?" Hiei asked, hopping down.

"Very well. You can share my umbrella if you'd like." The green eyes showed the smile on the teen's face, the umbrella's handle extended to the fire demon.

"Hn." The pale hand wrapped around the black plastic coating of the umbrella's handle. The other hand didn't budge though. "Give it."

"I'm taller, so I should hold it." The red head insisted.

"Fine." Hiei dropped his hands, putting them in his pockets. "I'm surprised your school let you out so quickly, Kurama. Usually you're late for everything because you have to convince them you have a life beyond their futile ningen testing."

"Yes, well, I explained I had a date." Kurama smiled.

"Said you were going out with your ningen mother, eh?" Hiei smirked, leaving the fox to sigh.

"Indeed I did." Kurama put a hand in one pocket, the other occupied with the umbrella. The two then walked in silence until at the ningen house. Kurama pulled a key from his pocket, opening the door. "You're drenched." The fox noticed, now that Hiei stood in the dry entryway. Kurama took off his shoes, hanging up his raincoat and closing the umbrella, hanging on a hook over a towel. He was basically dry, the only water on him on his pants from puddles. "Stay here, you can't drag that water all over the house."

Hiei folded his arms as Kurama walked off, obviously not getting what's wrong with tracking water through the house. He dripped in the entry way until the fox returned with a large towel.

"Okay, take off your shoes." Kurama instructed. Hiei rolled his eyes, pulling off his boots, then standing up once more. Kurama wrapped Hiei up in the towel, picking him up and cradling him in his arms. Hiei went to swing a punch, Kurama moving his head to dodge. "Look, if Okasan finds out you were here, and that you left a huge watery mess, she won't be pleased."

"Why must you CARRY me around like some injured fool though?!" Hiei demanded, obviously not convinced as Kurama took him to the bathroom.

"Well I don't own have an indoor wagon, so you'll have to live with it." Kurama smiled, putting him in the bathtub. "Give me your clothes and turn those knobs to run water through the shower."

"What?!" Hiei growled. Kurama raised his eyebrows, then coughed and cleared his throat.

"Give me your clothes and turn the knobs to run water through the shower." Kurama repeated, holding out his hands. Hiei slammed the glass door shut, looking through it, and seeing it completely fogged the fox from view. Satisfied, he stripped and threw the black clothes at Kurama. "You know Hiei, you were the last person I'd expect to be bashful. Need any help with the shower?"

"No." Hiei replied bluntly, turning the knobs, steaming hot water pummeling him.

"Okay then." Kurama took his clothes and left the bathroom, throwing them in the dryer. He walked to his room, grabbing a sweater and some of his older black slacks. He didn't have any sweaters that Hiei could even pretend fit, so he just grabbed a green one. He thought about underwear, knowing his boxers wouldn't feel comfortable for the little fire demon. The fox sighed, knowing a quick trip to the store was inevitable. Hopefully Hiei enjoyed showering enough to stay there while he was gone.

I hate how you care

and I hate how you dare

you dare to stand up and smile

and you dare to pause your life for a while

just to see if I can come out to play

or if I'll appear in the rain, out of the haze

sometimes I swear I am your doll

yet I still move on my own

and my voice is not in your tone

"I'll be back in a few minutes, just stay in the shower." Kurama yelled through the door, getting a grumble reply before putting on his shoes and raincoat.

In the shower Hiei lay on the bottom of the tub, hot water pounding on his stomach as he looked at the ceiling, the jagan on his forehead still covered by the white bandana. It was soothing, water pouring on him as he breathed steadily.

It was only fifteen minutes later when the fox returned. In another five he entered the bathroom.

"Okay, here are your clothes to change into, I'll start with dinner. Come out when you're done." Kurama said, putting the clothes on the toilet before leaving once more. He walked into the kitchen, contemplating what to make. The water stopped in the bathroom, signifying Hiei was done. Deciding on ramen, the fox boiled water. He put the noodles in, letting them soften before adding leftover shrimp and the seasons. He had just separated the noodles to two bowls when Hiei came from the bathroom. The pants he wore were way too big, the sweater even larger, hanging off his shoulders and covering his hands, the sleeves ending just above his knees.

"Goodness, did you shrink in the shower?" Kurama blinked, not expecting the clothes to be quite THAT big on him.

"No fool, your clothes are always this big on me." Hiei said, making it seem like he'd worn the fox's clothes before.

"Oh?" Kurama smiled, putting the bowls on the table and sitting on his knees, picking up his chopsticks as Hiei sat down. Hiei just crossed his legs, not caring for sitting on his knees. "I don't recall previously lending you clothes."

"You haven't. I took one of your shirts a while back for training in." Hiei said simply, eating the ramen without a care.

"I see." Kurama ate his own.

So I'm sorry for blaming you

and I'm sorry I hold back the truth

but there's nothing that I wouldn't do

to make my words up to you

and apologize with the truth

so I'm sorry I keep hating you

and I wish I was as brave as you

Once they were both done, and Kurama had washed the dishes, they both sat on the couch. Hiei seemed tired, but refused to fall asleep.

"Are you tired? Okasan won't be home until nine, you could take a nap." Kurama said simply.

"I'm fine." Hiei replied gruffly. "So why did you call me here in the first place?"

"Mostly to see if you would come. But I also wanted to see you, of course. I've been rather lonely since you left, you know. Yusuke and Kuwabara are beginning to worry about me." Kurama smiled, wondering exactly what this would get out of Hiei.

"Hn, then they're fools. You can take care of yourself." Hiei smirked. "But remember, I'm not your toy. I only came because I had nothing better to do."

"Of course." Kurama relaxed, leaning back on the couch, smile still on his lips. Hiei looked at the fox, who's mannerisms seem to be depressed. He wouldn't say anything, as usual, but he could notice and mull to himself later on. Suddenly he sneezed, his nose running since he got into the shower. "Are you okay?" Kurama asked, leaning forward and looking to the fire demon.

"Fine." Hiei said, then sniffed. His head felt full of water, and hurt.

"You must have caught cold." Kurama smiled. "I'll make some tea, why don't you go to my bed and lay down?"

"No." Hiei replied, sniffing.

"Hiei, you need to get some sleep, in a warm place. Don't worry, my sheets are clean." Kurama stood up, going into the kitchen. Hiei growled, looking at the stairs to Kurama's room. He sighed, standing and heading up stairs, walking into the teen's room. It was very neat, the futon bed perfectly made, the desk's drawers all neatly closed, the papers on top stacked sleekly. Hiei rolled his eyes, flopping on the bed and looking at the ceiling. In a few minutes the fox came in with two cups of tea, placing them both on his nightstand. Hiei sat up, gulping down his tea.

"Good tea." Hiei said bluntly. He suppressed a yawn, looking out the window over the redhead's shoulder.

"I'm glad. Get under the covers, be cozy." Kurama smiled, lifting the blankets. Hiei sighed, putting his bare feet under the blankets. Kurama then pulled them over the fire demon, up to the small chest. "Get some sleep."

Every time I get knocked down

you just have to pick me up

and every time I give up

you insist on giving me hope

where in hell

do you sell

your strange drug

and why do you sell it to me for free

what's so great about me

Hiei woke up around three in the morning, sitting up. He was surprised, still in Kurama's bed. Looking around, he suddenly felt the weight on his knees. The red head was sitting on the floor, his legs pointed to the opposite wall of the bed, his arms holding his head in position on Hiei's knees. He looked uncomfortable like that, Hiei thought, carefully sliding out from under him. He picked the fox up, surprised at how light he was. He put the fox in the bed, pulling the blankets over him. Hiei then walked over to the desk, grabbing a pencil and spare paper.

I hate me

I ripped the walls up

I ruin your life

I cannot be good

all I do is ruin

Once morning reared her ugly head the sun coming out after the long rain, the fox woke up, alone. He was in his bed, where he had left Hiei, who wasn't in sight. He sat up, scratching hid head. He walked over to his closet, pausing when he saw a stray piece of paper on his desk, which he picked up.

'Kurama-

Stop worrying so much, you'll get wrinkles.

-Hiei'

Kurama chuckled.

"Wrinkles, eh? You've always been a hypocrite when it came to worrying..." He shook his red haired head. "You better be feeling wonderful if you leave in the middle of the night."

Green eyes noticed writing through the paper, and he turned it over. It seemed Hiei had tried to smudge out his real message.

'Arigatô soshite sumimasen'

The fox stared at this for quite awhile.

"You're welcome, and... you don't need to apologize." Kurama smiled.

Outside the window, the black dressed fire demon stood on the frame of the window. He had found the dried clothes on the bottom of Kurama's closet, waiting to be reclaimed. Even his sword had been moved to there. But now he wore the garb, listening to the fox inside.

"Hn." Hiei hopped off.

Keep that smile on your face

clean up all of my disgrace

make me feel weak inside

spill my guts, shoot my pride

in the end it's suicide

because it was I

that accepted you by my side

The red head walked to school, carrying his book bag. His hair was tied into a pony, except for his side locks and bangs.

"I know you're there, Hiei." The fox smiled, looking up in the trees where the fire demon sat. The black haired sighed, hopping down. "I already missed you."

"Hn." Hiei said, his key phrase. It was surprising how the fox could tell what he meant.

"A real friend would stick around to say goodbye in person." Kurama said simply, the black clad one walking up to him. "Instead of stalking."

"Who said I was your friend?" Hiei asked sharply, seeming to be in a mood.

"Oh, are we enemies now?" The kitsune inquired, raising his eyebrows.

"I didn't say that." Hiei lowered his eyelids, his statements blunt.

"Then what do you mean?" Kurama asked, smiling lightly, and leaning over the fire demon.

"Guess." Hiei stood on the very tips of his toes, kissing the fox's cheek before walking away, disappearing up into the trees.

Kurama stood pink for a few moments before touching his cheek and smirking.

"Jerk."

I am horrible

and subtle and blunt

but you're far worse

in everything and more

so I'll be myself

that demon you adore

and we can be jerks

and I'll be sorry more

Oookay! All done... and this is a one-shot, as in this is THE END, so don't bug me for more, thank you. Happy Belated Birthday to Lethal-chanï©!


End file.
